A story not worth reading

First semester in college has gone so fast. So fast that when I try to reminisce the first few memories of it, it always happens to blur, right in front of my mind’s eye. So fast that I’m like in a car that is going over a hundred kilometer per hour and looking outside its windows. Images started shuffling before me.

College life is just very different from my life in high school. Before, I just have to have a short glance on my notes when reviewing, but now, I have to take note of everything the professor utters for me to be able to pass the exam. Before, I have to carry loads of books and notebooks (one for every subject, including a separate notebook for assignments) in a bulky bag. But today, I just have to bring a pen and a few sheets of yellow paper, tucked properly inside a small bag together with my phone and calculator. Things got a lot different than what I was used to. But I have to appreciate some of these changes also. One of those is that I have more free time to do my school work and stuffs like that. But that also means that I always tends to put off things for tomorrow.

Every new day that I rise up from bed, I always wonder what new things I am going to encounter. In that short span of time, I gathered priceless memories that I know I will cherish until the end. Memories from experiences that brought life out my existence. In this period of my life, I came to realize that there’s still so much that I have to know and to understand.

Imagine there are new people added into your circle everyday. Some of them made you feel this ‘sense of belongingness’ that we all are longing for, or for most, at least. Some made you realize how special you are and how great you could be.

Then one day, after you are blinded of their sincere actions; After you thought that they care for you as much as you value them; After you’ve committed your full trust to their kind words, they simply vanish. You feel, like you’ve been thrown away, rejected. You start to blame yourself of what happened. You force a smile but deep inside your hurting badly. They do not need to know how much your suffering, you do not have to blame them. After all, it’s you who thought that way, for in the first place, they do not mean to make you feel special. They just want to be kind to you, and that’s all! That’s your mistake, you exaggerate the things they do. It’s all an illusion you made yourself.

And then again, I’m back inside the car, but now it’s running in pace that you can make out what you see outside. Fragments of memories are starting to move together forming new memories. I don’t know how long will this last. But one thing’s for sure…I learned.